How living the Gintama-way Enriches your Lifestyle

Ginpachi-sensei will teach you the meaning of life.

Note: Since it’s April Fool’s day, time for a little ridiculousness.

Gintama is random and bizarre, but at the end of the day, underneath the wacky facade, the show teaches you important life lessons, which, believe me or not, enrich one’s lifestyle. Below are a few key points I learned from the anime personally and following them in real life, had enriched my lifestyle tremendously. So please follow them too, as I’m sure it will enrich yours as well, I guaran-damn-tee it.

1. When an elderly person, your boss or some authority figure is talking to you, show your respect by picking your nose or your ear. To show even further respect, flick your booger right at them.

2. Dye your hair silver. Silver hair is badass, especially if they are curvy/messy.

3. Our current technology is still not advanced (or is it an ethical issue?) for time travel, but a vending machine is the closest you can get for a time travel machine.

4. Tell more dirty jokes.

5. Gintama is clearly inspired by Death Note, so by proxy, you should learn more from Death Note.

6. This post is about how to enrich your life Gintama-style, and mascots are the ultimate way to do that, whether or not it’s a humanoid duck or a humongous dog.

7. It’s okay to be scared of ghosts.

8. Mayonnaise is the ultimate sauce.

9. Strawberry milk is the ultimate beverage.

10. Speaking of strawberry milk…

“Listen up! Let’s say you drink too much strawberry milk, and have to use the bathroom in the middle of the night. But it’s cold outside your bed. You don’t want to get up, but the urge to urinate is just too strong! You make up your mind to go! You run to the bathroom, stand in front of the toilet, and let loose! You think that all your life has led to this moment! But then you realize! It isn’t the bathroom, you’re still in bed! That feeling of lukewarm wetness spreads like wildfire! But you don’t stop! You can’t stop! That’s what I’m talking about! THAT’S THE TRUTH OF THE STRAWBERRY MILK! DO YOU GET IT!?”
~by Sakata Gintoki (Gintama) 

11. Don’t underestimate bland, ordinary guys.

12. Even if swords and guns are prohibited from law, wooden swords are the ultimate tools (yes, tools) which will forever remain in the grey zone, so you can take it with you anytime and anywhere you like.

13. When someone constantly mispronounced your name, that’s a sign your friendship with him has evolved to BFF. Remember to correct him for a firmer sense of mutual friendship.

14. When your subordinate tries to kill you every time with a bazooka, it’s a showing of respect.

15. Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon. Enough said.

16. Don’t be too expressive. A dead-fish eyes look is perfect.

17. Bring your money and scroll everywhere you go, you never know when you might need them.

18. Anthropomorphism is a bitch.

Blu-ray!

19. A tennis racket is a legitimate weapon for the police force.

20. Your glasses can overwhelm your own presence. Beware of your glasses.

21. Last but not least, the most important of all, BE A TROLL.

P.S: I’m looking forward to Gintama’s return this season. Also, this is my 333rd post!